Saturday, January 9, 2016

Conan
Stone cold killer

He comes across as a mild
mannered Librarian.
Is in fact the nats most
feared enforcer .
Any Unionist problems
they call for Conan.
here is a transcript of a 
secretly taped conversation
between Conan and his boss
(who suspected the hidden wire)

















Conan- You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
Nicola_ Would someone mind telling me, who are you?  
Conan-And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?  The best thing to do is feed them to my dugs. You got to starve the dugs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the duggys' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through dug shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least six dugs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps dugs They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single dug can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as Conans dugs".
Nicola- Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?


conan with his favorite weapon
in his favorite magazine







Conans man eating dugs




Niko-You'd be Conan out of Edinburgh Killer of women and children.

:Conan -That's right. I've killed women and children. I've killed just about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Niko , for what you said about the snp .
Luckily due to a misfire whilst Conan fiddled with his cannon I made my escape
through the privvy and legged it 



 
back to my hovel.. where I stay hidden away ha fecking ha Conan


  .

5 comments:

  1. You're right. I'm always wary of men who keep dugs.

    How is Taz by the way/

    Don;t you think it would be a good idea if he took over this blog.

    He writes such good common sense.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Actually, my favourite weapon is my 1885 pattern cavalry sabre Niko...

    ...must remember to trim my eyebrows.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. conan

      all right your second favourite weapon then..

      wot with a Sabre like to see that

      Delete