I feel sorry for the poor servants. Imagine having to launder Winston Churchill's soiled undergarments. And why "soiled". Did he cover them in earth? Bastard.
Thanks Ronnie. But I'm standing here wishing my best friend was called Jason Robledo. We would have such a great time. I'd say to Mum, "Mum, Jason's coming round for tea tonight and he'll probably stay over and listen to our music." And Mum would say, "It's only pie, beans and chips for tea tonight, Tommy." And I'd say, "That's okay Mum. Jason loves beans."
I thought everyone would live to hear about Cliff and Margie's trip to Silloth. They booked a 3 night Golden Years break but when they got there they liked it so much they extended their stay by another night. There was a Belgian couple there too but Margie never really caught their names.
Jack and Peggy call our flowering currant bushes at the start of the driveway Los Ranchos because the one next to the Watsons looks like Pearl Carr and Teddy Johnson [sorry guv. No Bow tie!!] and the one on Dickie and Jan's is a double of dear old General Franco. No mispronounciation aloud! Tee heels!!
Today is special. March 4th, the Feast of the Prenotation of the Virgin and St Wilfried remains in the heart of all British people and reminds us of our victory against the French at Crecy.
Britain fought and Britain won, Against the Frankish foe. Yea, Britain led the fight for peace, As all good men do know. And Britain - proud, victorious - Arose from Frankish fire, As Britain's kings and Britain's queen's, Made glorious our empire.
"Does anyone have a cure for unsightly rag nails?" These were the last words of my father's much worshipped neighbour, old Matthew, a retired shepherd who enjoyed, in his twilight years, dressing in outfits similar to those worn my novelist Barbara Cartland. Sacred be his name among transvestites.
You need to have a word with that so-called son of yours. What a disgusting performance. You must be ashamed of the little shitbag. It's bad enough he used to do my head in and now he's up to all that stuff that nobody ever even heard of in my day.
There's another thing. I see buses and trains full of people going from one place to another and it's now got to a disgraceful level. I know for a fact that a high number of the people on those vehicles are travelling in order to have s*X with other people. The train and bus companies need to crack down on this sort of thing and make it clear that they will not stand for it. The same with aeroplanes and ferries. I despair of taxis and private card. Thus must stop.
My uncle Rodge always wore a poppy in November and was incensed by disgusting people who didn't ware them. I hold his memory sacred and criticise people to there faces if I see them without a poppy after the August Bank Holiday. I have written to our local paper asking them to publish my lists of local people that I have seen not supporting our lads. People tell me that the people who don't Sport the Poppy tend to be what we use to call Handbag Jessie's. But we're not suppose to say that. That's communism for you.
Heaven has lost the Quuen if Angels now that Her Majesty has gone and left us to join Her Husband in God's Paradise. King Charles will usher in a new ElizabethN era for our land. I pray he shall rule wisely and kindly. We can no longer sing God Sabe The Quuen as our National anthem and i have a suggestion. Chicory Tips "Son of my Father" would be a lovely tribute to both the new King and his father King Duke of Edinbirough.
I'm thrilled that President Biden is visiting the United Kingdom. Hurrah for Her Majesty and His Eminence. When the President smiles it means he is no mere 17 year old muffler. He is a giant among guanine. Thank you.
This is a comment. It's very scary to see how the old enemy of the USSR is being resurrected in Putin's Russia. Yes, Putin is a disgusting scumbag. No, I wouldn't want to live in Russia even as an oligarch, but come on, BritGov - we don't believe you any more.
So, I concur. When I reached out to the Russian embassy in London for a visa, I received no reply. Not a word. My self-esteem was under attack and I identify as an ethnically diverse non-binary human. So I went to Alton Towers with my friends from the local Bible Union instead and we saying Lord Jesus's message from the new ride.
Virginia Bottomley's favourite song is Sleigh Ride. (Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling yoo-hoo). She and her beloved husband Peter used to sing it at the annual Christmas gathering of their local Conservative Association. Occasionally other shoppers at Waitrose may hear Mrs Bottomley humming the tune to herself as she fills her trolley.
Last Wednesday, March 16th 2022 at approximately 11:38 a.m., I was proceeding in a northwesterly direction along Mayflower Close adjacent to the car parking facility of a German discounter (where I am not a customer owing to the Coventry blitz during which Joyce Flett's Uncle Sardo list the will to live) when I saw my local General Practitioner, Dr Ernesto Mahuilavardodobtlookatnegenry-Mypantsisfullofgrimvlejois, leaving the premises I was very disappointed because I always thought professionally trained professionals (even ones with dusky skin tones) had their provisions delivered from Fortnum and Mason. I am not accustomed to being mocked and made a guy of by ruthless individuals from our old colonies. We introduced them to Christiplsnity.
I'd love it if we could all go down to St. Austell to visit Tanya for a long weekend. I don't mean everyone in the world, just the usual Cobbler gang. What fun we would have. Nyerere, ye Cobblers!
Me too. I'd love it if we could all go down there and have a jolly good time with Tanya at the Spinney. I say, we should jolly well make the effort. Angela, could you arrange things with Rex? Arthur, might your lady wife care to join us? Ann, please try to persuade Agatha to 'tag along' as they say. Nyerere, ye Cobblers, cream teas till the cows come home and a jolly good weekend of canasta.
Dearest Angela, You need a break what with all the kettling and if Rex isn't up to the hustle bustle of the train journey, might he join us (accompanied) by video camera? We know the rings can be trying.
What a pathetic load of dinosaur doodoo 🦕 . I'd like 👍 to climb up to the top of the castle 🏰 and spend a nice hour or two chatting to an 🎨 aristocrat wearing a 🚢 crown 👑 or a coat. Good 👍 luck trying to bring her to court.
This is also a comment. What was all that carry on on the River Thames with people throwing boxes of fish in the water? Was it a traditional custom like pearly kings and queens?
This is a reply. It's something the ancient Normans used to do, I believe. It's about Father Thames being fed and not flooding the land. Odd symbolism.
I know quite a few French words too. I know how to proposition the ladies with a bit of the old ooh la la. It's easy to speak French as Prince Andrew, me old cocker, says: "No sweat".
I see Princess Margaret is at it again. Her mother barely cold in the grave and there she goes buying cars and gems for Shirley Bassey and Cliff Richard. 17 excuses and every one an inch.
I have friends in Nottingham and At Austell and I wish to bless them a happy New year. Hello, everyone. Tanya at the Spinney in St Austell first of all because you are so far away. Come and visit us soon. Henry has lots of room at the Hall. Which brings me to my friend Henry. Merry New Year, Henry. Never lose that vibrant sense of humour nor that busy perky face. Hello dear Angela Westfield. Your work with Rex shall never be forgotten. Dear Rex, we know you are thinking if us even though times are hard. Hello to our own British Bulldog Jan McWee. We all know how you worked for Brexit and we are all reaping the rewards. Arthur Hamill and your lovely lady wife - hello to both of you. Not so many of those migrants around to bother you. Phew! Dear, dear Ann Edmondson - how your vocabulary cheers us up and entertains us. Our revered Agatha Cat from All Saints - you show us the true meaning of Christmas. To one and all, I say Nyerere, Ye Cobblers! Nyerere in '22!
I am thrilled to learn of the plans to celibrate Her Majesty's Platignum Jubilee in the summer when our goverment have fixed the covid problem. Rejoice, Britons. This will be the first Chance we will have as a Natioun to give Thanks to Our Monarch and Her Family for the generations of Set ice they have given us. We are a blessed Natioun. Can any other country boast the same? I would like to set up a charity so we the British People can collect enough money to buy Platignum Crowns for all Serving Members of the Royal Family. I would like to see each Member of Our Armed Forces presented with a Platignum Elizabeth Cross to mark there Service in Afganistan. Our Celibrations should last for 100 Days. One day for every Year Her Majesty has reigned over Us, happy and Glorious. And a new Royal Baby would be the iceing on the Cake.
What a lovely suggestion it goes to show how fortiunate we are in this country that poeple can think off things like that the govarment shoud go a head and do that but they shoud of thoght of it them selves but what can you acxpect when the ministars lagh at Her Mejesty the Queen
There is a place in Latvia called Tūkums. It is my dream to go there and wear stylish garments so that people will refer to me as the Tūkums dandy. I need this to happen.
Mum and I were on holiday in Amsterdam because she was always gripped by the Ann Frank story. Line Audrey Hepburn. Anyways, Dutch people seem to like dogs but unfortunately they don't always clean up their whoopsies. The town council needs to do something about it because Mum slipped on a dog's whoopsy and almost fell into a canal. Mum can't swim.
PS. Mum was upset by the incident so I took her back to her hotel for a lie down while I went off to the Buttplug leisure centre where I met several rather well-built gents who were appalled to hear of mum's ordeal.
Drelb has not been given Royal Favour. Does anyone know members of ghe royal family who could have word with the queen? Or maybe somebody should works for her could say to her "You're Majesty. Could give give Dreb Royal Favour,? Thanks".
b
As is Mayhem the Maybot didn't have enough to worry about...
ReplyDeleteShe also owns some of the ugliest spoons in England.
DeleteThere he goes again mocking other people's spoons. Bastard.
DeleteMocking people's spoons can be very hurtful to people's aunts and uncles.
DeleteI'm sitting in a cafe in Kilmarnock pouting and watching my reflection. People are looking at me.
DeleteYes. I feel like the scorned lady. Ooooooh. I feel like the scorned lady. Ooooooh. I feel like the scorned lady. Ooooooh.
DeleteLive with it. It's like a tangerine.
Can anybody please tell me why Greeks have such repellent accents? Thank you.
DeleteI feel sorry for the poor servants. Imagine having to launder Winston Churchill's soiled undergarments. And why "soiled". Did he cover them in earth? Bastard.
DeleteTommy, I bet you look ravishing when you're pouting. I wish you'd come to Linlithgow and pout with me.
DeleteThanks Ronnie. But I'm standing here wishing my best friend was called Jason Robledo. We would have such a great time. I'd say to Mum, "Mum, Jason's coming round for tea tonight and he'll probably stay over and listen to our music." And Mum would say, "It's only pie, beans and chips for tea tonight, Tommy." And I'd say, "That's okay Mum. Jason loves beans."
DeleteMy sister suggested I should be Kerry Katona in my spare time so I started in March and it's going really well so far. Fingers crossed.
DeleteSTOP SPEAKING ABOUT SPOONS
DeleteGood God! Clint Eastwood reduced to joining the cast of Hollyoaks as a shoplifter. That's the end of his career.
DeleteI thought everyone would live to hear about Cliff and Margie's trip to Silloth. They booked a 3 night Golden Years break but when they got there they liked it so much they extended their stay by another night. There was a Belgian couple there too but Margie never really caught their names.
DeleteJack and Peggy call our flowering currant bushes at the start of the driveway Los Ranchos because the one next to the Watsons looks like Pearl Carr and Teddy Johnson [sorry guv. No Bow tie!!] and the one on Dickie and Jan's is a double of dear old General Franco. No mispronounciation aloud! Tee heels!!
DeleteThe supermarket trolley and the teans community: liberator or oppressor?
DeleteDoesn't that Neil Sedaka make you want to vomit? What a disgrace that was. 😤
DeleteI hate postcodes.
DeleteI can close shops with my mind.
DeleteThis is a comment. That is interesting.
ReplyDeleteSo is your Uncle Toppie
DeleteI saw some photos from a birthday party a few years ago.
DeleteI just wonder what people would say if they knew!!
DeleteWhen I was in the army we ise to say Shove yourvhead up an elephants arse behind the sergeanrs back.
DeleteToday is special. March 4th, the Feast of the Prenotation of the Virgin and St Wilfried remains in the heart of all British people and reminds us of our victory against the French at Crecy.
DeleteBritain fought and Britain won,
Against the Frankish foe.
Yea, Britain led the fight for peace,
As all good men do know.
And Britain - proud, victorious -
Arose from Frankish fire,
As Britain's kings and Britain's queen's,
Made glorious our empire.
Thank you God for our British soul.
"Does anyone have a cure for unsightly rag nails?"
DeleteThese were the last words of my father's much worshipped neighbour, old Matthew, a retired shepherd who enjoyed, in his twilight years, dressing in outfits similar to those worn my novelist Barbara Cartland. Sacred be his name among transvestites.
Like Douglas said at Ewan and Sarah's wedding, if you never spent a day in Calais you've never lived.
DeleteWell well well. Here we are back at stage 1 again and it isn't even Halloween.
DeleteYou need to have a word with that so-called son of yours. What a disgusting performance. You must be ashamed of the little shitbag. It's bad enough he used to do my head in and now he's up to all that stuff that nobody ever even heard of in my day.
DeleteI want to get a cheap plane ticket, fly to Malmo and post a message from there.
DeleteSeasons Greeting everyone to one and all.
DeleteSome people call Jaycub Rees Mogg the Tangerine Dream. [C2V]
DeleteWho and why?
DeleteAt least Mussolini got the trains running onetime. (VnR)
DeletePop singer Niall Horan from One Direction invented Chipotle sauce.
DeleteThis is a comment. I am afraid of Russia and what they will do to us. They eat pickled vegetables.
ReplyDeleteShow us your chopper.
DeleteThere's another thing. I see buses and trains full of people going from one place to another and it's now got to a disgraceful level. I know for a fact that a high number of the people on those vehicles are travelling in order to have s*X with other people. The train and bus companies need to crack down on this sort of thing and make it clear that they will not stand for it. The same with aeroplanes and ferries. I despair of taxis and private card. Thus must stop.
DeleteAnd most of them aren't wearing a poppy
DeleteMy uncle Rodge always wore a poppy in November and was incensed by disgusting people who didn't ware them. I hold his memory sacred and criticise people to there faces if I see them without a poppy after the August Bank Holiday.
DeleteI have written to our local paper asking them to publish my lists of local people that I have seen not supporting our lads.
People tell me that the people who don't Sport the Poppy tend to be what we use to call Handbag Jessie's. But we're not suppose to say that.
That's communism for you.
I inserted a poppy into the orifice of a war veteran who had stormed the beaches of Normandy in 1943. He liked it.
DeleteHeaven has lost the Quuen if Angels now that Her Majesty has gone and left us to join Her Husband in God's Paradise.
DeleteKing Charles will usher in a new ElizabethN era for our land. I pray he shall rule wisely and kindly. We can no longer sing God Sabe The Quuen as our National anthem and i have a suggestion. Chicory Tips "Son of my Father" would be a lovely tribute to both the new King and his father King Duke of Edinbirough.
I'm thrilled that President Biden is visiting the United Kingdom. Hurrah for Her Majesty and His Eminence. When the President smiles it means he is no mere 17 year old muffler. He is a giant among guanine. Thank you.
DeleteI don't believe anybody eats avocados. It's all a big con.
DeleteThis is a comment. It's very scary to see how the old enemy of the USSR is being resurrected in Putin's Russia. Yes, Putin is a disgusting scumbag. No, I wouldn't want to live in Russia even as an oligarch, but come on, BritGov - we don't believe you any more.
ReplyDeleteSo, I concur. When I reached out to the Russian embassy in London for a visa, I received no reply. Not a word. My self-esteem was under attack and I identify as an ethnically diverse non-binary human. So I went to Alton Towers with my friends from the local Bible Union instead and we saying Lord Jesus's message from the new ride.
DeleteCheery bye. My chocolate coated bundle of loveliness.
DeleteVirginia Bottomley's favourite song is Sleigh Ride. (Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling yoo-hoo). She and her beloved husband Peter used to sing it at the annual Christmas gathering of their local Conservative Association. Occasionally other shoppers at Waitrose may hear Mrs Bottomley humming the tune to herself as she fills her trolley.
DeleteI wonder if Mrs Bottomley could do something for Gail Tilsley.
DeleteI'd like to do something for Gail Tilsley. Phwoar!
DeleteLast Wednesday, March 16th 2022 at approximately 11:38 a.m., I was proceeding in a northwesterly direction along Mayflower Close adjacent to the car parking facility of a German discounter (where I am not a customer owing to the Coventry blitz during which Joyce Flett's Uncle Sardo list the will to live) when I saw my local General Practitioner, Dr Ernesto Mahuilavardodobtlookatnegenry-Mypantsisfullofgrimvlejois, leaving the premises
DeleteI was very disappointed because I always thought professionally trained professionals (even ones with dusky skin tones) had their provisions delivered from Fortnum and Mason. I am not accustomed to being mocked and made a guy of by ruthless individuals from our old colonies. We introduced them to Christiplsnity.
I've been touched by the furry finger.
DeleteI'd love it if we could all go down to St. Austell to visit Tanya for a long weekend. I don't mean everyone in the world, just the usual Cobbler gang. What fun we would have. Nyerere, ye Cobblers!
DeleteMe too. I'd love it if we could all go down there and have a jolly good time with Tanya at the Spinney. I say, we should jolly well make the effort. Angela, could you arrange things with Rex? Arthur, might your lady wife care to join us? Ann, please try to persuade Agatha to 'tag along' as they say. Nyerere, ye Cobblers, cream teas till the cows come home and a jolly good weekend of canasta.
DeleteDearest Angela, You need a break what with all the kettling and if Rex isn't up to the hustle bustle of the train journey, might he join us (accompanied) by video camera? We know the rings can be trying.
DeleteOf course I didn't forget you Henry! Nyerere ye Cobbler!
DeleteJoin me on my sustainability journey to lead our planet into a life-affirming reality.
DeleteWhat a pathetic load of dinosaur doodoo 🦕 . I'd like 👍 to climb up to the top of the castle 🏰 and spend a nice hour or two chatting to an 🎨 aristocrat wearing a 🚢 crown 👑 or a coat. Good 👍 luck trying to bring her to court.
DeleteThis is also a comment. What was all that carry on on the River Thames with people throwing boxes of fish in the water? Was it a traditional custom like pearly kings and queens?
ReplyDeleteThis is a reply. It's something the ancient Normans used to do, I believe. It's about Father Thames being fed and not flooding the land. Odd symbolism.
DeleteImagine. You wrote that comment before the wedding.
DeleteIf I was asked to right a book I'd right about Lauren Bacall. What she did for science and children's rights is a legend.
DeleteDoes anybody know what Colour Fielding is? Thanks
DeleteYes. Colour Fielding is when people explain things to morons who are too 🙄 stupid to ask Google.
DeleteThank you for thanking me.
This is a comment. Maybe Nigel Farage should throw dead flounders at his financial backer Vladimir Putin to make it seem as if they aren't colleagues.
ReplyDeleteI thought you said 'dead flowers'. I almost died laughing. Thanks for brightening up a dull old Friday in Straiton.
DeleteYour callousness makes me want to vomit.
DeleteMy balls have just dropped. Ooooyah!
DeleteI know a woman who sends emails to people.
DeleteThis is a comment.
ReplyDelete"Putain" in French is pronounced like the French pronounce "Putin" and it means "whore". Sorry for the vulgarity of a milksop but I say as I see.
"Say what you see," Roy Walker.
"I say as I see," Dennis Nilssen.
"I say, young lady," Terry Thomas.
"Nat si Tory bastard," Joanne La Mont
I know quite a few French words too. I know how to proposition the ladies with a bit of the old ooh la la.
DeleteIt's easy to speak French as Prince Andrew, me old cocker, says: "No sweat".
"Please, say si si". Al Martino. Spanish Eyes.
DeleteI see Princess Margaret is at it again. Her mother barely cold in the grave and there she goes buying cars and gems for Shirley Bassey and Cliff Richard. 17 excuses and every one an inch.
DeleteI'm a win-win situation.
DeleteShow us your chopper.
ReplyDeleteI have friends in Nottingham and At Austell and I wish to bless them a happy New year. Hello, everyone. Tanya at the Spinney in St Austell first of all because you are so far away. Come and visit us soon. Henry has lots of room at the Hall. Which brings me to my friend Henry. Merry New Year, Henry. Never lose that vibrant sense of humour nor that busy perky face. Hello dear Angela Westfield. Your work with Rex shall never be forgotten. Dear Rex, we know you are thinking if us even though times are hard. Hello to our own British Bulldog Jan McWee. We all know how you worked for Brexit and we are all reaping the rewards. Arthur Hamill and your lovely lady wife - hello to both of you. Not so many of those migrants around to bother you. Phew! Dear, dear Ann Edmondson - how your vocabulary cheers us up and entertains us. Our revered Agatha Cat from All Saints - you show us the true meaning of Christmas. To one and all, I say Nyerere, Ye Cobblers! Nyerere in '22!
ReplyDeleteHughie is home again. My new Years' gift from Lord Jesus
DeleteI thinking smoking should be made compulsory again.
DeleteOh f&*#)>>#Uckfield. I think I forgotten somebody but who. Oh jeezuss fuc665**#k
DeleteI am thrilled to learn of the plans to celibrate Her Majesty's Platignum Jubilee in the summer when our goverment have fixed the covid problem.
ReplyDeleteRejoice, Britons.
This will be the first Chance we will have as a Natioun to give Thanks to Our Monarch and Her Family for the generations of Set ice they have given us. We are a blessed Natioun. Can any other country boast the same?
I would like to set up a charity so we the British People can collect enough money to buy Platignum Crowns for all Serving Members of the Royal Family.
I would like to see each Member of Our Armed Forces presented with a Platignum Elizabeth Cross to mark there Service in Afganistan.
Our Celibrations should last for 100 Days. One day for every Year Her Majesty has reigned over Us, happy and Glorious.
And a new Royal Baby would be the iceing on the Cake.
What a lovely suggestion it goes to show how fortiunate we are in this country that poeple can think off things like that the govarment shoud go a head and do that but they shoud of thoght of it them selves but what can you acxpect when the ministars lagh at Her Mejesty the Queen
DeleteI've been suggesting things for a long time but nobody listens. But I'm unstoppable. So what this space.
DeleteMe to. Ive been called a maverick swift.
DeleteOoooh. Mercury!
ReplyDeleteThe fag coupons were great. I got a flask from them but it broke on the beach at Elie.
ReplyDeleteThere is a place in Latvia called
DeleteTūkums. It is my dream to go there and wear stylish garments so that people will refer to me as the Tūkums dandy. I need this to happen.
I'm known as the Kippford Dandy.
DeleteCorrection. You're known as the Kippford Pansy.
DeleteMum and I were on holiday in Amsterdam because she was always gripped by the Ann Frank story. Line Audrey Hepburn. Anyways, Dutch people seem to like dogs but unfortunately they don't always clean up their whoopsies. The town council needs to do something about it because Mum slipped on a dog's whoopsy and almost fell into a canal. Mum can't swim.
ReplyDeletePS. Mum was upset by the incident so I took her back to her hotel for a lie down while I went off to the Buttplug leisure centre where I met several rather well-built gents who were appalled to hear of mum's ordeal.
ReplyDeleteIf I won £2000 on Who Wsnts to be a Millionaire, I'd be black affronted. 2000 reasons why people could call me thick.
ReplyDeleteThat all happened before i went to Eindhoven.
ReplyDeleteโปร สล็อต pg slot จากเว็บสล็อตออนไลน์ PG-SLOT.GAME ที่ยกเกมสล็อตออนไลน์จากค่ายดังมาอย่างหลากหลายค่ายเกม เช่น pg slot jili joker และอื่นๆอีกมากมายในเว็บเดียว มาแรง 2022
ReplyDeleteI don't want a pig's slot an neither does Peggy and Jack from Stroud
DeletePeggy is a pig slot
DeleteDrelb has not been given Royal Favour. Does anyone know members of ghe royal family who could have word with the queen? Or maybe somebody should works for her could say to her "You're Majesty. Could give give Dreb Royal Favour,? Thanks".
DeleteAnd Jack grunts like a pig ha ha ha ha
ReplyDeleteI'm sick to death of people talking about gender fluid quiz games. What the hell does that mean? Load of ballyhoo.
ReplyDelete