Friday, May 13, 2011

Meet me new bar staff

An introduction to me new Bar staff
Having taken over me bar only a few days ago
and finding i needed some new staff.
I placed an advert in the Hootsman
and as Unemployment in Scotland
has increased in the last few days.

The candidates were from a varied
areas of Scottish society  with a wealth
of experience anyway here they are

First me Cook Bella aka

Only prob with her apart from her
getting pished all the time is her one and only dish is

Fish! Fish! Fish!

Then there's  Andy me bog cleaner he does 
a brill job as they are always covered in shit
andy cleans and cleans soon ill get him some gloves

And there is Iain  he is me 
Comedy Scotsman who marches around
the town pretending to play the pipes
(very badly)  with a sandwich board
with 'Follow me to Nikos Bar and free beer'
I did try him out as Me bar tout outside me bar
enticing the punters in..
Only thing is he didnt seem to have the 
common touch with the tourists couldn't make em laugh
and when i heard him say in reply to why he left
Scotland when he said he was 'Demitted '
(What the feck does that mean)
and he had been to the killing fields in cambodia
(Yeah right)
I thought best bin him.......

but he begged for another chance so he got one .


  1. You still haven't paid for the advert...

  2. Jeez Conan; no sain person would pay for an ad in the Hootsperson (printed en Angleterre). It's only got 3 readers.

    I wonder if Niko should have put an ad in the "Shetland Warrior"; that unemployed bloke they have is tall enough to change lightbulbs without a step ladder.

    Not much good for sod all else mind.

  3. Nicko

    Are meatballs on the menu?

  4. Bar tours due to voters not understanding how to vote the 'owner' of this publicly funded business is having to try and work for a living.

  5. Sweetmeats when Goldie gets him by the short and curlies.